You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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