I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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