My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
