Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
