Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
