You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
