Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
