there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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