She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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