he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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