She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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