i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
