Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
did you just send me my own nude
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
