this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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