Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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