This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
