i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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