we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize