I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
