I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
