Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
