Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
