Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
