I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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