Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
