I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
