I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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