Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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