i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
