Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
