i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Success! We fucked roommates!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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