he shaved USA in his pubs
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
