dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
