OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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