Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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