I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
