Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
