So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she pinky promised me she was 18
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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