I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
