can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's just like the Real World with babies
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
