Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
