physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
