sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it because I queefed?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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