My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
