I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
