I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry about my life...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
