I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
