friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
