we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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