turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
