It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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