We won't sleep together?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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