Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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